Wednesday with Words: The Real Diary of a Real Boy

In the early 1900's Henry A. Shute was rummaging in his father's shed and came across an old salt box which contained an interesting assortment of paraphernalia his father had kept: 'frog's hind leg, extra dry; wing of blue jay, very ditto' and a copybook inscribed with the word, 'Diry.'

The examination of this copy-book lasted the rest of the day, and it was read with the peculiar pleasure one experiences in reviewing some of the events of a happy boyhood.

With the earnest hope that others may experience a little of the pleasure I gained from the reading, I submit the "Diry" to the public.

HENRY A. SHUTE.

EXETER, N. H. Sept. 23, 1902.

DIRY

Father thot i aught to keep a diry, but i sed i dident want to, because i coodent wright well enuf, but he sed he wood give $1000 dolars if he had kept a diry when he was a boy.

Mother said she gessed nobody wood dass to read it, but father said everybody would tumble over each other to read it, anyhow he wood give $1000 dolars if he had kept it. i told him i wood keep one regular if he wood give me a quarter of a dolar a week, but he said i had got to keep it anyhow and i woodent get no quarter for it neither, but he woodent ask to read it for a year, and i know he will forget it before that, so i am going to wright just what i want to in it. Father always forgets everything but my lickins. he remembers them every time you bet.

December 7, 186- Got sent to bed last nite for smoking hayseed cigars and can't go with Beany enny more. It is funny, my father wont let me go with Beany becaus he is tuf, and Pewts father wont let Pewt go with me becaus im tuf, and Beanys father says if he catches me or Pewt in his yard he will lick time out of us. Rany today.

December 8. Skinny Bruce got licked in school today. Skipy Moses was in the wood box all the morning.

December 9. brite and fair, speakin day today. missed in Horatius at the brige.

Jan. 15. i am all spekled over. mother says she is afrade i have got chicken pocks. i gess i have been in the hen koop to mutch.

Jan. 16. the speckles have all gone of. doctor Perry says i et to many donuts.

Jan. 18. brite and fair. yesterday to and day before yesterday i have forgot.

Jan. 19. snowed all day. Me and Beany is mad.

Jan. 20. father is sick becaus he et to mutch salt fish and potato and pork. he is auful cross and hit me a bat today becaus i left the door open. i gess he will be sorry when i am ded.

May 21. erly this afternoon me and Fatty Melcher got some real segars at Henry Simsons store and went down behind old man Churchills store and smoked them. we were both auful sick and laid there all the afternoon. when i went home i walked wobbly and mother asked me if i was sick and she put me to bed and was going to send for the docter, but father came in and when he found out what aled me he laffed and said it served me rite. then after supper he set out on the steps rite under my window and smoked a old pipe and i cood smell it and i thought i shood die. then mother asked him to go away and he laffed and said all rite, but he gessed i had enuf for one day and she said she gessed so and i gess so too. he said if it hadent made me sick he wood have licked me.

i dont see why it is so, father swears sometimes when he hits his thum with a hammer and once when he was in the dark he was walking towards the door with his arms out to feel for the door, one arm went on one side of the door and the other arm on the other side and he hit his nose a fearful bump rite on the ege of the door, and i wish you cood have heard him swear, well if i swear he licks me, and he smokes and if i do he says he will lick me and he dont go to church and if i dont go he says he will lick me. O dear i gess i wont smoke enny more.

Two of my children started off with spelling similar to what was written in the Diry. The youngest of them was leaning over my shoulder as I was reading some extracts aloud and exclaimed, "Mummy! The spelling is all wrong!" Well, we've made progress - spelling mistakes recognized.
The next day the same child started a diary (spelled correctly), which began with a 'preface.' I was allowed a brief glimpse of it this morning - two full pages of the events of the past couple of days and some random comments. I'm often surprised at what inspires my children.

 The Real Diary of a Real Boy by Henry A. Shute is in the public domain and free at Project Gutenberg.